Choosing and Applying to Schools (for your kids)

Schools

I think one of the most important, if not the most important, goals is your kids’ happiness. (Flag: You're going to hear me say this over and over again.) If your kids are not happy, all of the other important decisions quickly lose their value and you’ll see that this is where the true priority lies. That said, remember, I’m writing from the perspective of a father who made aliyah with five children under 8.5.

Since a child’s life revolves around school and the friends they make there, choosing the best school for your child should be high on your To Do list. Yes, academics are important, of course, but remember that when you get to Israel you will have uprooted your children from their familiar surroundings and from their friends, and you’ll want them to be able to survive and thrive socially as well as academically. The academics are going to be very challenging that first year as the classes will probably be in Hebrew. I’m told that after Chanukah, the kids start to really catch on, and we’ve seen this with our kids. I also hear the second year is much easier. (As of this writing, we’ve been here six months.)

Two weeks after Chanukah, my six year-old (turned six on Chanukah) translated for me what a cab driver said, and my seven year-old daughter’s teacher told us that she, the teacher, told the class a whole story in Hebrew and then asked for a volunteer to measure the classroom using their own feet. My daughter raised her hand. The teacher thought maybe she needed to use the bathroom as a way to escape all the Hebrew jibberish. When the morah called on my daughter, she went to the front of the room and started measuring with her little feet. Nachas. (And a tinge of jealousy for her quick language acquisition!)

BY February, you should be applying to schools for the coming year.

How do you choose a school? I’ll tell you what we did. After deciding on our city, Ramat Beit Shemesh Aleph, we looked up information about the schools on the Nefesh b’Nefesh website. It was helpful in that it gave us a basic understanding of the different schools. Then we spoke to people we knew in Ramat Beit Shemesh to see where they sent their kids and to hear their opinions of the school. This was very helpful. We also joined the RBS Facebook page and asked questions there. (One caveat: when reading people’s opinions on different topics, I remember that there were sometimes contradictory black or white answers with no gray in the middle. Example: Do they speak English at Toras Moshe grade school? One answer was yes and another answer was, “I walked by Toras Moshe’s playground and heard not one word of English.” What I’ve found is that most or all kids speak English, but some or many speak Hebrew also...especially the kids who’ve been here a couple years.)

If you will need a boys’ school and a girls’ school, in Ramat Beit Shemesh there is sometimes an expectation is that brothers and sisters attend partner schools. My boys go to Toras Moshe and my daughter goes to B’nos Malka.  There are many families who also have kids in both schools.  

Interviews

We had to interview to get our boys into Toras Moshe: both parents, at the school, at the same time. We were able to have this interview in July; however, we spent the next few days anxiously awaiting to hear if the boys were accepted. We did not have a Plan B school. I know at least one other school that requires the face-to-face with both parents. This could be accomplished on a pilot trip (which we did not take). My daughter’s school allowed us to interview via video chat while we were in America, and she was accepted before we arrived.

In our boys’ interview, our future third grader (kitah gimmel) and future kindergartner (gan chovah) were asked to read. I was proud how my third grade son read Hebrew...a lot better than me when I was 35 years old! The interviewer (the head of the school) said that he read at an end of kindergarten level.

Accommodations

Thankfully, Toras Moshe is used to and well-equipped for olim chadashim (new immigrants). For our third grader, there are several special programs each morning to review material learned in his all-Hebrew-speaking class as well as Ulpan. They even provide a daily class for olim just to be able to talk about issues and their feelings. Until Chanukah he left at 1:00 pm each day because everybody felt the afternoon (all in Hebrew without being pulled out for special programs) would be too frustrating. My six year-old in the same school, as well as our seven year-old daughter in a different school, stay until 3:00. They are doing fine. Our oldest son started staying a full day of school a couple of weeks ago.  He seems to be doing great as well.

$$$

The religious schools are not free. They cost a fraction of what American day schools cost, but they do cost. And the accommodations cost money also, but the accommodations, I’m told, are only needed the first year. But it’s an expensive first year! Plan on spending double the actual school tuition the first year for tutors, ulpan, etc. Public schools are free.

When to Arrive

We chose to arrive in July and put the kids in local summer camps. This plan worked out very well because on the first day of school in this new city on the other side of the globe far from everything familiar to them, our kids already had friends in their classes whom they met at camp.

Remember, you want your kids to be happy. Choosing the school that’s going to provide them with the education you want and the supports and social network they need might not be a simple task. Start researching right away and if you’re planning a pilot trip, plan to visit the schools you’ve researched and ask if they require interviews. Also remember this sad but unfortunately true fact: you will probably not be able to give your kids the attention they need and deserve during this first year of upheaval. They will probably experience a range of emotions, and depending on their age and their maturity, might not be able to vocalize or explain what they’re feeling, and it can manifest in different actions or behaviors. As wonderful a parent as you are, you will also be going through your own upheaval, but you will more likely be focusing on the settling down aspects: finding a job, learning the language, finding a shul, making friends, etc. Your kids can fall victim to being ignored (even partially) as you deal with your family’s future...at the cost of their present.  Here’s a tip for helping to ease the transition for your kids: Once a month give each of your kids a day off alone with you.  This is a great time to go on a short tiyul (trip) or just go out for ice cream.  This gives them a little break from the stress of school and important one on one time with you. It makes a world of difference. Also, it really helps to take some family trips around Israel to show your kids how amazing and special this place is.  And you get to live here!!